The Return of Civilisation....

Hi everyone,

No really...it is me!! It's not an imposter pretending to be Fionnuala/Fiona/Finoodles becasue she has fell off the face of the earth and totally forgotten about her blog and its followers...ahem!!

Where does one start to explain the confusion, disruption and most of all the wondrous visit to a lovely place called STRESS CITY that has ensued from the crazy idea of moving house whilst having a six month old baby, a mad four year old and three mildly disgruntled teenagers in tow (and I'm not even going to mention the fact that I had a deadline for my third book hanging over my head at the same time!) My mother said to me several months ago - (adopts earnestly serious expression just like Eileen wears when imparting advice, criticism or both) "Fionnuala if you are trying to give yourself a hernia you are going the right way about it. Would it not be a better idea to tackle one thing at a time instead of trying to do everything at once?"

My mother and I then went on to have a very invigorating chat about what we would do if we both had the pleasure of living in an ideal world (and I won the argument...ha)! Don't tell her I said that, mind you! Just know that what I'm telling you is true!!!

But Mammy does have a point (only a small one, mind, but its there all the same.) I have never been one to do things by half. Nooooooooooooooooooo (when uttering this word and in order to give it the right air of drama it helps if you suck your teeth and shake your head.) I believe in dealing with everything life throws at me all at the same time. A bit of recreational circus training in the art of juggling may have been useful here but who knew that there would be so much to deal with at once?! Well...I did... sorta...kinda...maybe but thinking that I am God's own answer to Superwoman I went on ahead anyway!

I now know why experts say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do in your life and I'm not just talking about the physical aspects of it regarding the actual 'move'. The transition period where you try to get used to new surroundings is also quite difficult especially when you've come from quite a built up area but now find yourself slap bang in the middle of the country where the shop isn't as easily accessible and you can't go to the front door and shout and hope that some of the many friends you made in the last street might hear you! That said, however, our new home is perfect! It's light and airy and spacious, our children have tons of room for both themselves and all the 'stuff' they have accumulated over the years,the garden is huge and finally I have my own writing room and dressing room (yay...happy dance) but the journey there has been bumpy and stressful and just ever so slightly manic!

Thank God I saw light approaching the end of the tunnel several weeks ago or I may have been trying to write my blog whilst entangled in a straight jacket in a room where padded walls are prevalent and there are no removal vans, sleepless nights or book deadlines to worry about (all at the same time!)

Am I am happy now though, I hear you ask?!

I am delighted!!! I have finished my third book and am in the process of editing it! I have started to write a fourth book and am very pleased with it! The house looks lived in and half normal and no longer has one room named by my four year old as 'the messy room' becasue it contained (all over the floor) the contents of the attic from our old house and the children are all happy and have settled in well and taken to life in the country like little ducks to water!!

However....(sorry if I didn't complain this would be very boring to read)....I am most distressed due to the fact that I have been without broadband now for nearly eleven weeks!!!!! Surgery to staple my right arm back on would have been complete by now but unfortunately the internet connection is still severed and if the actions of a certain phone company and sattelite provider do not result in contact with cyberspace being made shortly I will not be responsible for my actions!!! And its not only me who is suffering...every time my children want to use Facebook they have to hang out my bedroom window upside down with an elbow in the air, manically waving the phone around and crying obsenities at the poor signal! For the love of God....please sort it out engineers!!! Pleeeeeeeeease!

Anyway...I hope that this justifies my lack of contact over the past few months!! I have been busy! I have been reduced to behaving like a raving lunatic at times but hey it was worth it all and were you to ask me to do it all over again....I would run ten miles in my bare feet over scalding hot coals just to get away from you!

Civilisation has indeed resumed and I will be in touch again very soon (from my other half's computer at his work...)

It's good to be back!

Fionn xxx

Kylie for Christmas...

Folks, I have made a decision! I've been promising my other half that he's getting Kylie Minogue for Christmas for about the last eight years but since we plan to marry next year have decided that I actually mean it this time! Now, by this I do not mean that I intend to kidnap the Aussie songstress and gift wrap her for him (although methinks that he wouldn't be looking for a refund if I did). What I am referring to is the fact that there are certain similarities between us (I wish) or actually maybe there's only one...we're both five foot nothing (which is a terrible affliction when you're an ordinary human being who can't reach top shelves in shops and needs every single pair of trousers known to mankind taken up but makes you cute and sexy when you're a popstar who had seven foot bodyguards towering over her!)

Whilst she is a skinamalink I have a spare tyre or three sitting around my middle. Whilst she has a pert bum that compliments skimpy hotpants and drives men wild I have childbearing hips that are best suited to wide legged capri pants. But all that is about to change as I am going to begin Slimming World again...to syn or not to syn that is the question!

The first class starts in two weeks and then the craic will begin in earnest and instead of cooking things because they're handy I shall be cooking them because they are good for me and the rest of the house (who will all have gobs on them because I intend to throw out the deep fat fryer, outlaw crisps and chocolate and buy copious amounts of fresh things that they will mutter about and poke with their forks in disgust...and that's just Philip I'm talking about!)

Wish me luck folks...or perhaps I should say "I should be so lucky...lucky lucky lucky ;)

Possibly the smiliest baby in the world...ever

I couldn't resist sharing this with you all....everybody meet my happy wee man Orán x

The Radar is back on....

Sorry folks for being so bold regarding my blogging lately but as I'm sure you'll understand I've been in a differnt world lately...one that spins in time with the next feed and when its due, endless nappy changes, baby bathing and talking in a strange squeaky voice to your newborn who must have also figured that you're on a different planet because you're talking funny!!

Anyway...baby Orán is now nine weeks old and quite frankly a joy to behold! He's absolutely gorgeous (even if I do say so myself) and has given our home and our lives new meaning again after quite a troubled period! Thankfully we're beginning to settle into more of a routine and a full night's sleep now seems within grasp as opposed to being a distant memory! And with the return of normality my writing has also began again!

Today I'm off to get photographs taken by my good friend and super duper photographer Jim Hamill (www.jimhamillphotography.com) did ye like the way I just slipped that in there Jim?? And as usual I'm running around like a headless chicken trying to find something suitable to wear, which is an impossible feat at the moment seein' as my belly has taken on a life of its own and enjoys morphing into a wibbly wobbly jelly at a moment's notice! I've also just got my hair newly reddened again (much to the disappointment of my other half who is mourning his blonde bombshell and making comments about how much more fun blondes have!) but as I explained to him last night after returning from the hairdresser's if I had gone blonde the hair would probably now be pink and having an author looking like a desk troll would not be what my publisher's had in mind for press shots!

Hair and make-up aside I'm really looking forward to my afternoon in the studio as it signals the release of the papreback version of Anyone for Me? and a whole lot of fun with it! I have library evenings coming up in my local area, interviews set up and am also looking forward to visiting my local Tesco Ireland in Monaghan to see it when it will be Book of the Week the week commencing 2nd May...woohoo!! Every Little Helps and all that!

Over and out for now! Photos to follow!

Forget Superman....Superwoman's in charge!

Praise me people!!!! Tell me how amazing I am and generally fall at my feet - no, I haven't won any awards or come up with a cure for a deadly disease but I have accomplished something else that I'd say most would have thought impossible!

Drum roll please!!!.....On Tuesday of this week (same day as I do my Novena to St. Martha which may have helped) I managed to write 5,000 words whilst keeping the mad four year old entertained and in between feeds and nappy changes involving the newly christened (photos to appear later) six week old!

Having said that though, my children were very co-operative...you'd think they knew their wee mammy had a big old deadline hanging over her head...thanks kids!

Feck Superman....he doesn't know what he's at in comparison....I, however, am the princess of multi-tasking and today, the queen of self-praise because I think I deserve it.

Now back to work!! Just need to figure out how I performed that neat trick which involved kicking my own arse into action whilst giving myself a stern motivational chat (in the absence of having my agent living in the cupboard....Emma aren't I great?!)

Go to sleep now Orán there's a good boy ;)

And we have LIFT off...

Sorry for not getting back to you sooner folks but I am literally up to my neck in nappies and powdered milk and seem to have a little bundle permanently attached to my shoulder which makes balancing the laptop rather hard work!

I promised you, however, that I would devote an entire blog to my birthing escapades...so here goes!

It was the 7th February and a bright and sunny Monday morning and I was lying in my bed in ward 1 East in Craigavon Area hospital (with my legs clamped shut) waiting for the consultant to come and tell me whether or not I was going to be induced that day. I was scared out of my wits as the baby wasn't due for another four weeks and would rather have been told that I was going home if truth be known. But this was not to be the case! The consultant pulled the curtains, said a few words and before I knew it rubber gloves were adorned, the necessary procedures were taken (I'll spare the graphic details but I'm sure y'all get the gist!) and before I knew it I was being told to stay put for an hour and keep an eye on my pains.

I have to stress at this point that having given birth three times previous to this I knew that I wouldn't be long in labour...my babies don't hang about...four hours was the longest! So, when the consultant said that she'd let nature take its course and leave me to the following morning if nothing happened Philip and I both killed ourselves laughing.

As predicted an hour and a half later the pains were coming thick and fast and Philip had been dispatched to Mothercare to source premature baby clothes as I knew I wouldn't have anything small enough to fit a baby that was estimated to be in or around five pounds. (On that note I must say that I was very impressed with what he brought back too...see men can occasionally get things right when under pressure!)

I was having a ball at that stage (a birthing ball that is, ha) and puffing on my tank of gas and air like a camel would suck leaves off a bush...class stuff girls when you haven't had a drink in nine months (gives you the opportunity to become inebriated, talk shite and be forgiven for being stupid all in one go minus the pesky hangover!)

At precisely four o'clock the lovely nurse who had been with me throughout the day suggested I took a bath and Philip agreed that this might be a good idea so the two of them they got me sorted in between much moaning and stopping to suck at the gas tank as I was very sore. I had just about got into the bath when I started to panic as I could feel the baby coming so between nearly hauling Philip in on top of me, squealing like a banshee on speed and slopping five gallon of water over the floor in my attempts to get out quickly we must have been the quare sight when the midwife came in to see what the kerfuffle was.

"I need to push."

"But you were only five centimetres an hour ago."

"Well I'm not five *$@#ing centimetres any more because this baby's coming now."

I think the nurse was still thinking that I was being a bit of drama queen when I eventually dive bombed back on to my bed (fastest heavily pregnant about-to-give-birth woman on two legs ever, me) so that she could examine me.

When she shouted for someone to get a birthing kit and instructed my stricken looking hubby to unplug the bed and run for the lift I knew the writing was on the wall...I would have been smug and said 'told you so' only I was gasping by that stage as unfortunately the gas and air had been left behind!

Why, when you're in a hurry, do lifts decide to play up. It was probably only a thirty second delay but to me (and to Philip who was turning the air blue and swearing like a trojan at that stage it felt like forever.) We were only in the lift two seconds when Master Orán started to make an appearance and I will remember forever the look on the man's face who was standing waiting for the lift at the other end as I emerged screaming blue murder (if he hadn't had children at that stage I'd say he'd have probably been quite happy to forego the idea or maybe adopt one such was the horrified look he gave us.)

I made it into the delivery suite in time to completely deliver my little man, who roared lustfully (most beautiful sound in the world to a new mammy.)

I did have to laugh, though, as the nurse cradled him and told him in dulcet tones that 'it was okay' and that she knew he was shocked to be there so soon.

Eh s'cuse me...he was shocked????? I was feckin' shocked and as for Philip I think it'll probably be a long time before he gets into a lift again without hearing the words 'pant Fionnuala pant" reverberating in his head!

But all's well that ends well and my wee baby man ended up weighing 5lbs 8ozs and being absolutely perfect despite all his mammy's fretting and worrying!

But I'd say when he's older he'll feel a strange attraction to Aerosmith songs...particularly one very aptly entitled Love in an Elevator...or should that be Born in an Elevator perhaps?!

Mini-Mammy

I just have to share this with you all as I think it so natural and so beautiful! I took this photo on the spur of the moment and think it captures the scene beautifully...my fourteen year old daughter Úna (who has now been dubbed mini-mammy in our house for obvious reasons) staring adoringly at her baby brother as he sleeps!

This is what life is all about folks...making the precious times count!

Introducing Orán Philip McAllister

This is my gorgeous baby son Orán who was born four weeks early on 7th February and who is the reason why his mother's blog hasn't been updated in approximately five weeks! His arrival was a shock but a very pleasant one at that! I hadn't been feeling well and was admitted to hospital on 3rd February as I had reduced foetal movement due to fluctuating blood sugars in relation to my diabetes. I thought that I was simply being taken in for overnight observation and never thought in a million years that I wouldn't be seeing the light of day again until my wee man was in my arms! Usually hospital stays are a drag that have everybody sympathising with you on your misfortune at being laid up but if truth be told I have to admit that I had a whale of a time! It was just what the doctor ordered (literally)...a well deserved rest away from the stresses and strains of the outside world and an opportunity to completely chillax!! It also turned out to be a great place to meet new friends...stand up and take a bow Carla Scullion, Catherine MCrory and Jayne Murray who along with myself were the occupants of Bay 3 on Ward 1 East Craigavon Area Hospital (or rather Bumps r Us as I nicknamed us)....there's bound to be a book in there somewhere with the main theme being the bonds created between expectant mothers when all are thrown together pre-bump!

Anyway....to get to the important bit...my little man arrived four weeks prematurely after the decision was taken to induce me (details of the birth will follow in another blog...believe me...they deserve a blog all of their own and when you read it you'll fully appreciate why...are you suitably intrigued yet??) We have named him Orán Philip and he was 5lbs 8ozs when he was born and is a little darling!! Mammy's little star and Daddy's boy and the rest of the family are dying about him...which is exactly as it should be!!

Welcome to the world little boy...you are only three weeks old but already we would be lost without you!! xxxxxxxxx

Friends....

There is a well known saying in life that states that 'a friend in need is a friend indeed'....unfortunately, however, not everyone agrees and if someone's in trouble or feeling down and lonely they'd rather deal with their own feelings of discomfort than try to offer any support therefore how lucky am I to have the best bunch of mates in the world...ever...who literally rally around me in times of need!

Times have been tough lately between ill health, problems of a personal nature and life in general just being crap (I could use a variety of stronger words believe me but I'll refrain cos I'm a writer and supposed to have a repetoire of 'proper' words.) Of course stupid cars that don't work, laptops that nosedive off seats all by themselves (according to the mad four year old)resulting in broken screens and spiralling out of control blood sugars don't help! However I'm lucky...my friends, like my man and my wonderful children are my rocks and I'm so very very lucky to have them!

I was having a particularly tough day on Friday and was basically telling my friend Carrie-Ann (who is a little gem) how down I was feeling and next thing by magic a little quote appeared on my Facebook page from her which really touched me and was so appropriate....

And here it is...my new motto in life from now on...

There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right and Pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of LIFE...Getting back up is LIVING

Carrie Ann, Rachel, Claire A, Joanna, Nells, Kat, Edel and the rest of the posse thanks for always being there and for having spectacularly bendy ears when I need you....you are superstars and I love you all to bits and once I produce this babby we are definitely going to have a night out....FACT!!!

Happy Birthday Colm...

I am officially in shock folks...I am the mother of a sixteen year old!!! Of course I am the world's youngest mammy as I had him when I was four and am not a day over 21...ahem! Oh well alright then spoil sports...I actually had him when I was eighteen and had my place secured in Napier University, Edinburgh for a degree in Newspaper Journalism after sitting my A-levels....at the time the thought of having a baby and missing out on the opportunity to continue my studies and live life on the wild side like all my friends filled me with fear but I have to say that sixteen years on I wouldn't swap my big fella (who is now taller than me) for the world! I love him more than life itself and in many ways he did me a big favour by deciding to turn up when he did!

I am not for a moment advocating teenage pregnancy (before you all jump on me from a great height for being a bad and irresponsible influence) but Colm's arrival meant that my life went in a completely different direction than it may have done if my original plan had come to fruition! For a start I doubt if I would have had my gorgeous daughter Una, I also doubt that I would have ever met Philip, who is the absolute love of my life (stop telling me not to be soppy...my hormones are firing on all cylinders...I'm allowed!) which means that I wouldn't have my precious Aine or my current bump nor would I have had the opportunity to meet and bond with his children and to boot I may have actually succeeded in my chosen career path and been a newspaper journalist as opposed to an author and wouldn't be sitting writing this blog now....whew...isn't my son a brilliant lad altogether for arriving when he did!!

I am a great believer in things happening for a reason and life being mapped out for you and am very thankful to the man in the sky for giving me my wonderful firstborn son as he means the world to me...of course he has his moments where I could cheerfully knock him out for not tidying his room, constantly fighting with his sister (who he loves really...they can't fool me), not knowing where the dishwasher is and being under the mistaken belief that his clothes are magic and therefore capable of making their own way to the laundry basket...but what can I say...he is a teenage boy and I'd probably die of shock and want to take his temperature to diagnose illness were he suddenly to turn into a clean freak who was willing to wear ordinary clothes minus a designer logo...sorry didn't I mention the penchant for anything with a label on it...if it ain't Henley's, Haywire or Crosshatch these days we do not want to know...no George or Cherokee or Peacocks will do anymore...noooo sirreee God forbid a top might cost less than 20 quid!!!

Happy birthday to my big man who has brought such joy and comfort to me over the years and who is the apple of his Granda's eye (well, growing up with an only girl it's only natural that he would be delighted with a wee man who would become his shadow over the years!)


Love you son xxx