I admit to being a tiny bit of a clean freak but have to say that I just like things to be tidy, neat and hygienic and that it drives me absolutely insane when people use things and either leave them lying at their arse or don’t put them back in the right place?!
Like, I mean, seriously how hard is it to make a cup of coffee and then put away the sugar and the milk, wipe down the counter and put the spoon in the dishwasher????? Doesn’t sound like an insurmountable task to me but to my teenagers its fecking rocket science.
Also (am now in full rant mode) does anyone else have children who understand the phrase ‘go and hang that up please’ to be translated as stuff it in a drawer or shove it into the tiniest crevice you can find at the top of the wardrobe so that every bit of ironing is truly destroyed? And they do this even though they know I will check...sometimes I think they like to see me morph into a Tasmanian Devil of an evening!
Nmmmmmmmgggggggghhhhhhh.....don’t exactly know how to write a snarl but that’s my attempt!
Towels are also the bane of my life....I seem to spend hours washing the damn things as my children must be convinced that they have very contagious skin diseases that mean when a towel has been used once it absolutely definitely could not be dried on a radiator and used again! And said skin disorder also prevents them from lifting towel off floor along with sweaty clothes or washing out the bath and God forbid that they might put a lid on the shampoo or notice that the toothpaste is oozing?
And then to add insult to injury when you complain about their lack of care or tell them they’re lazy they turn round and tell you that you’re the one with the problem!!!!
“I think you need checked out Mammy. That OCD of yours is gettin’ out of hand.”
This statement is followed by much sniggering (from them) and even more internal combustion from me!
The reason why I am writing about this at this particular time is because my mad five year old spilt coke on the kitchen floor this evening (which I mopped earlier) and before I had a chance to open my beak she turned round and said “calm calm Mammy.” Of course this was met with much mirth and high hilarity from the rest of the crew who had the energy to roll around (as they hadn’t spent all day cleaning) and were oblivious to the one year old emptying the contents of the turf basket all over the living room floor (also freshly washed today....nmmmmmmmmmggggggggghhhhhhhh)
Now talking of babies (ones who have just learned to crawl)....if they could be employed I would give them the task of hunting down every last little speck of microscopic dirt and then order them to deposit it in the bin as opposed to attempting to give their mother a stroke when they decide to try and swallow it and subsequently gag and then vomit (all over the same clean feckin’ floor!)
And as for teenage girls.....Sweet Jaysus but they are messy articles....I said to my fifteen year old daughter recently that she would never get a man such was the mess of her room and she answered me airily by saying that was going to bag a millionaire and employ a maid?!.....that’s another thing I hate about teenagers....they always have an answer for you!
Anyway...I do love my children really (when they’re sleeping....ahem)! No really I do but I like a clean house as well and don’t think that there’s anything unusual about that? What mother doesn’t want to provide a clean and habitable environment for her young (who don’t appreciate it and couldn’t care less if they lived in a bog).....on second thoughts maybe I should go and get a 9 to 5 number and forget about the housework?
Or perhaps I should start writing book number 4....Anyone for Dust?
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